Sexploitation or Sextortion and Teens

Hello my friends. This is Len Mooney, author of Adventures in Single Parenting and creator of the website singleparenting.us, and welcome to this video. Today I’m sitting in my RV. I’m in Campland by the Bay in San Diego, if any of you know where that is. And it’s a pretty nice day out there. The sun is out now, just finally came out. It’s been overcast most of the day. It’s warming up, and it’s just beautiful. We’re right on Mission Bay in San Diego.
Today I’d like to talk to you about a topic that just came to my attention recently, and it’s called sexploitation or sextortion and it affects teens. It’s affecting a lot of teens, many more than you might imagine in the country, and it’s something that you need to be aware of.

Information About Sexting 

 In a prior video, or blog post, I talked about sexting and the second edition of my book, “Adventures in Single Parenting”, is about to be published and it has a chapter on sexting in it. Plus, my short Teens and Sex book which is available on Kindle has a chapter on sexting. So there are several sources that you can go to from me to learn more about sexting if you don’t know what it is.  Sexting is the act of sending nude or explicit or compromising photos electronically usually using smart phones.

Sextortion May Start With a Male Friend

 Well there’s a whole new arena to this thing called sexting. In some cases, it comes from a boyfriend who convinces the girl to send him a nude or compromised picture of herself and then exploits her by telling her if she doesn’t send more pictures or perhaps engage in other activities with him that he will publish those pictures on Facebook, Pinterest, wherever. And of course, she doesn’t want to, pardon the pun, expose herself, so she sometimes complies with requests. And the request may also come from his friends to send more pictures.

 Predators are Stalking Kids

 But the more insidious one is coming from predators online who are able to track down people who send or text compromising photos of themselves and extort them, and in some cases extort them for pornography, for personal reasons, et cetera. In the text below this video and in the text on my website I’ve given you a couple links to go to, one to an examiner.com article that talks about this situation and another to a list of recent headlines that talks about sextortion or sexploitation. It’s a serious thing, and we really need to be aware of it as parents and make sure our kids don’t get into the middle of it. And of course, if our kids do inadvertently get into it, they’re, in many cases, embarrassed or ashamed or afraid to come tell us, so it gets worse and worse and worse for the kid, especially if it’s a professional online who’s tracking them down.

 Have a Cell Phone Contract

Now I’m a firm believer that every teenager who has a smart phone should also have a contract in place with their parents about what they are and are not allowed to do with that smart phone, and this is something that really needs to be discussed. And so I’ve also included a link to an example smart phone contract that you can have in place with your teenager and I highly recommend it.

Monitor Cell Phone Use

Well, just be aware that this exists. You are the parent. Monitor your teenager’s cell phone use. Take a look at their picture files. Take a look at their sent messages and their inbox and be sure there isn’t something going on here that you want to be involved in. And remind your teenagers that anything they do with their smart phone and put that message or a photo out to the world, that’s there forever. It’s not going to go away easily, and especially if it ends up on, say, Facebook, or some other social media.

Share this with Every Parent You Know

Well that’s all for today. If you like this video or consider it to be worthwhile, and I hope you do, share it with a friend. Go visit my website. The link is given to you. And I’ve also given you links below to my other video on sexting as well as to my books. I hope you find this information useful, and as usual my wish for you is that your children grow up to be happy, healthy, and productive members of society. We’ll talk again. This is Len. Bye for now.

Further Information

Examiner.com article

http://www.examiner.com/article/sextortion-alert-dangerous-teen-sexploitation

Latest headlines

http://www.examiner.com/topic/sextortion

Sample cell phone contract

http://tweenparenting.about.com/od/tweenculture/a/Parent-Child-Cell-Phone-Contracts.htm

Miss Teen USA  Sextortion Aug 2013

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/teen-usa-opens-sextortion-plot-gave-nightmares-article-1.1440884

 

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Auto Erotic Asphyxia

Good morning, this is Len Mooney, author of “Adventures in Single
Parenting”, and creator of the website, singleparenting.us. Today’s topic
is
an extraordinarily sad one. Three days before Christmas, I received a
phone call no parent, no grandparent, no friend, no relative ever wants to
receive. A very close and very young relative was dead. It was my grandson.
He was a teenager. I put a post on my blog within a day or so, but it’s
taken me a couple or three weeks to get to the point where I can talk about
it just a little bit more. And I do want to talk about it because I want to
warn you, if you have teen aged boys that this could happen.

The cause of death is auto erotic asphyxia. It’s been around for several
hundred years. It’s estimated between 500 and 1000 young men die every year
as a result of this little experiment, and the reason the number is
relatively unknown is because many deaths that are, in fact, caused by auto
erotic asphyxia are attributed to suicide. It can appear to be suicide or
the family may simply wish the truth not be known. Now the last time I had
a personal visit with my grandson I had talked to him about sex, asked him
if he had any questions. We went over some stuff. We talked freely and
openly. It was a good conversation. It never occurred to me that I should
discuss auto erotic asphyxia.

Now for those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s a practice of cutting
off the oxygen supply to the brain during erotic stimulation. And I’m not
going to tell you in this video how to do that. If you really want to know
the details of how it can be done, you can search for it on the Internet
and you can read the article on my blog, on the written blog, and you’ll
find more information about the techniques involved. I don’t want to be
responsible for propagating techniques for how to do this, but what I want
to be responsible for is warning parents who have teenaged sons that
somehow they should get the information to their son that this practice can
kill you.

Once again, between 500 and 1000 young men die every year die in the United
States, and unfortunately the Internet provides a medium where information
about all kinds of things can be found and misinformation is rampant and
relatively available, So, once again, my caution to you is to be aware that
this exists, be aware that children surfing the Internet can find
information about it and try to do the best you can, I suppose, to be sure
that your son is armed with the information he needs to warn him that this
is not a good idea. As usual, my wish for you as that your children grow up
happy, healthy, and are positive contributors to society.

This is Len. We’ll talk again on a happier note. server ip . Bye for now.

For further information try the following sources
Erotic asphyxiation – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erotic_asphyxiation
Autoerotic asphyxiation has at times been incorrectly diagnosed as murder and especially so when a partner is present. Some hospitals have teaching units …
Auto-erotic asphyxiation | Go Ask Alice!
http://goaskalice.columbia.edu › … › Sexual & Reproductive Health
Auto-erotic asphyxiation (AEA) is the practice of cutting off the blood supply to the brain through self-applied suffocation methods while masturbating. By limiting …
David Carradine: Auto-Erotic Asphyxia’s Deadly Thrill, a Secret Sex …
Jun 5, 2009 – Actor David Carradine likely practiced the dangerous and secretive sex practice auto erotic asphyxia safely for a lifetime before accidentally …
Autoerotic Asphyxiation information on MedicineNet.com
http://www.medicinenet.com › … ›
As many as 1000 people a year die accidentally as a result of autoerotic asphyxiation — suffocating themselves for sexual arousal.
What’s the story on autoerotic asphyxiation? October 28, 1988. Dear Cecil: I heard about a strange sexual practice the other day that I hope you can tell me more …
Autoerotic asphyxiation is killing hundreds of men each year: Details
http://www.details.com/…/self-asphyxiation-is-taking-sex-to-a-scary-…
Autoerotic asphyxiation is killing hundreds of men each year. … Autoerotic asphyxiation is taking sex to another level. And it’s killing hundreds of men every year …
Is there a safe way to perform autoerotic asphyxiation? – Slate …
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and…/strangle_with_care.html
Jun 5, 2009 – Kung Fu star David Carradine was found dead in a Bangkok hotel on Thursday. Police discovered him in a closet with cords tied around his …
The Neurocritic: Celebrity Autoerotic Asphyxiation
http://neurocritic.blogspot.com/…/celebrity-autoerotic-asphyxiation….
Jun 7, 2009 – Of the various types of abnormal sexual behavior, the most dangerous and bizarre is autoerotic asphyxiation, also known as asphyxiophilia,
Autoerotic Asphyxia – Medical Dictionary – The Free Dictionary
http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Autoerotic+Asphyxia

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Teens and Sexually Transmitted Disease

Sexually transmitted disease

Welcome to this video, part 4 of my 3 part series on Talking to your teens about sex. I felt the need for an additional video discussing Sexually transmitted disease or STD.

In a previous video I mentioned the fact that teens appear to be waiting longer to have sex and more seem to be using some protection, but is that good enough? Absolutely no!

First a young person contacts a sexually transmitted disease once every 8 seconds in the US, that’s 10 million per year approximately. 10% of young people who claim no sexual activity test positive for std’s.

How STD’s spread

One reason STDs spread is because people think they can only be infected if they have sexual intercourse. That’s wrong. A person can get some STDs, like herpes or genital warts, through skin-to-skin contact with an infected area or sore.

Another myth about STDs is that you can’t get them if you have oral or anal sex. That’s also wrong because the viruses or bacteria that cause STDs can enter the body through tiny cuts or tears in the mouth and anus, as well as the genitals.

STDs also spread easily because you can’t tell whether someone has an infection. In fact, some people with STDs don’t even know that they have them. These people are in danger of passing an infection on to their sex partners without even realizing it.

The first line of defense is education!

So once again as parents what can we do to protect our kids. The first line of defense is education. If we want our children to have our values, our morals then we must teach them ourselves.

Studies show that kids want sex education from their own moms, dads and guardians. But did you know that when you teach your child the facts about sex, your child is:
 less likely to have sexual intercourse as a teen
 less likely to become pregnant or get someone pregnant as a teen
 more likely to talk to you about other important issues in their life.

The time to start talking is now!

As I said in a previous video, the time to start talking is today even if your kids are preschool. Again I have seen articles where the advice was, if you are too embarrassed to have the talk yourself, ask a doctor or clergyman or someone else to do it”. No! You do it! If you are embarrassed say, “I am embarrassed” and do it anyway. Your child’s life may depend on you. So it’s time to start talking. For an excellent guide on “How to have the sex talk at any age” see the website by Jennifer Wolf, “About Single Parents.com” I have provided a link to this site and many more valuable resources in my written blog which can be found at singleparenting.us
Please subscribe to my channel. Also please leave me a comment and tell me what you think or ask a question. And please click “like” and also “share” this video with your friends. Thank you!

Finally, go check out my website singleparenting.us. Let’s get to know each other. Good luck in the days ahead. My wish for you is that your children grow up healthy, and contribute to society in a positive way. I’m here to help you get there. We’ll talk again. This is Len. Bye for now!

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“Talking with your teen about sex” part 3 (sexting)

Hi, It’s Len. The creator of singleparenting.us and author of the book, “Adventures in Single Parenting”.
Welcome to this video, part 3 of my 3 part series on Talking to your teens about sex. Today I want to cover the topic of sexting.

Wikipedia defines Sexting as “The act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones”. This is a rather recent concept first reported in 2005 and depends on the advent of Smart Phones and the new high speed mobile technology and networks. What is surprising is the rapidity with which it is gaining popularity and apparent social acceptance.

In a recent study published in The Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine, researchers questioned a culturally diverse sample of 964 Houston-area students between the ages of 14 and 19 from seven public high schools and amongst other things found that 27.6% of teens reported having texted or emailed a naked picture of themselves. Of course as you might expect, girls were asked to send a naked picture of themselves much more frequently than boys.

If your teenager’s phone has naked pictures in the sent folder, there’s a pretty good chance they’re doing a lot more than just that. The study found that 77 percent of girls and 82 percent of boys who are sexting are no longer virgins. It had especially bad news for the girls sending naked pictures.
“(T)een girls who engaged in sexting behaviors also had a higher prevalence of risky sex behaviors, including multiple partners and using drugs or alcohol before sex,” the study found. “Thus, among girls, the use of sexting behaviors appears to coincide with much higher engagement in risky sex behaviors.”

Read more at http://www.inquisitr.com/271246/sexting-shocker-28-percent-of-teens-sending-fully-nude-pictures-of-themselves/#V1F0ZyZ9pTJvJS6J.99

As parents, need to know what all the settings are on the different services that our children are using. We can join and have our own accounts on facebook, Twitter etc

We also need to talk to our kids about the risks of having a social media account. Some risks include being stalked by a predator. Some girls have learned the hard way that their boyfriends cannot be trusted with nude photos, anything on the web (that includes the cell phone network) is public information.

We can follow our kids and have them follow us back.

If the kids protest, remind them that social media is public viewing gallery and anything they put out there can and will be visible for years.

The following site can help us stay in touch with what our kids are doing on line.

http://www.minormonitor.com/

Finally there is the legal implication. In most states and many countries possession of nude pictures of someone under 18 is illegal and can and has been prosecuted as a felony, even if you yourself and under 18 and it is a picture of you. Again from Wikipedia, “Some teenagers who have texted photographs of themselves, or of their friends or partners, have been charged with distribution of child pornography, while those who have received the images have been charged with possession of child pornography; in some cases, the possession charge has been applied to school administrators who have investigated sexting incidents as well.”

Finally as parents, we need to be aware of the “lingo” our kids are using so we can interpret their messages. The list below comes from: http://www.noslang.com/sexting.php
Common Sexting Slang Terms
Warning: some of these terms are vulgar. This list is nowhere close to exhaustive, words can be combined, removed, and invented on the fly.
8 Oral Sex
143 I Love You
cu46 See You For Sex
DUM Do You Masturbate?
GNOC Get Naked On Cam
GYPO Get Your Pants Off
GNRN Get Naked right Now
FMH Fuck Me Harder
IWS I Want Sex
IIT Is It Tight?
Q2C Quick To Come
RUH Are You Horny?
TDTM Talk Dirty To Me
S2R Send To Receive
NIFOC Naked In Front Of Computer
SorG Straight Or Gay?
JO Jerk Off
PAW Parents Are Watching
PIR Parent In Room
POS Parent Over Shoulder
YWS You Want Sex
WYCM Will You Call M?e
RU18 Are You 18?
CD9 / Code 9 Parent / Adult around
NALOPKT Not A Lot Of People Know This

My written blog contains additional information and can be found at singleparenting.us
Please subscribe to my channel. Also please leave me a comment and tell me what you think or ask a question. And please click “like” and also “share” this video with your friends. Thank you!

Finally, go check out my website singleparenting.us. Let’s get to know each other. Good luck in the days ahead. My wish for you is that your children grow up healthy, and contribute to society in a positive way. I’m here to help you get there. We’ll talk again. This is Len. Bye for now!

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“Talking with Your Teens About Sex” Part 2 (Teen pregnancy)

 

The number of teens giving birth in the U.S. dropped again in 2010, according to a government report, with nearly every state seeing a decrease. Nationally, the rate fell 9 percent to about 34 per 1,000 girls ages 15 through 19, and the drop was seen among all racial and ethnic groups. Mississippi continues to have the highest teen birth rate, with 55 births per 1,000 girls. New Hampshire has the lowest rate at just under 16 births per 1,000 girls.

By Amanda Peterson Beadle on Apr 10, 2012 at 1:50 pm

This is the lowest national rate for teen births since the Centers for Disease Control began tracking it in 1940, and CDC officials attributed the decline to pregnancy prevention efforts. Other reports show that teenagers are having less sex and using contraception more often. Studies have backed this up. Researchers at the University of Washington in Seattle found that teenagers who received some type of comprehensive sex education were 60 percent less likely to get pregnant or get someone else pregnant. And in 2007, a federal report showed that abstinence-only programs had “no impacts on rates of sexual abstinence.”

But 37 states require sex education that includes abstinence, 26 of which require that abstinence be stressed as the best method. Additionally, research shows that abstinence-only strategies could deter contraceptive use among teenagers, thus increasing their risk of unintended pregnancy.

For example, take the states with the highest and lowest teen pregnancy rates. Mississippi does not require sex education in schools, but when it is taught, abstinence-only education is the state standard. New Mexico, which has the second highest teen birth rate, does not require sex ed and has no requirements on what should be included when it is taught. server ip . New Hampshire, on the other hand, requires comprehensive sex education in schools that includes abstinence and information about condoms and contraception.

Please subscribe to my channel. Also please leave me a comment and tell me what you think or ask a question.  And please click “like” and also “share” this video with your friends. Thank you!

 

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“Teens and Sex” Part 1 (Talking about sex with your teen)

There are, to be sure, lots of books on the subject of sexuality, and lots of studies into the awakening awareness of the opposite sex. Let’s start with, “Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health, February 2012”, Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health

The good news is teens are waiting longer to have sex and more are using birth control during their first sexual encounter.  In 1995 some 19% of teens reported having sex before age 15.  That number declined to 11% for females and 14% for males in 2006 – 2008.

Although only an average of 13% of teens have had sex by age 15, most initiate sex in their later teen years.  By their 19th birthday, 70% of teens, both male and female, have had sexual intercourse.

Another piece of good news is that 78% of females and 85% of males reported using contraceptives the first time they had sex.

So it all boils down to one simple undeniable fact.

People have sex and your child’s first sexual experience will probably be in the next few years.  It may have happened already.

So the next question is, “When should I talk to my child about sex”? The answer may shock some of you.  Now is the time to start the conversation.

There is considerable information and a fine resource starting with,  Sex Talk – Have the Sex Talk With Kids of Any Age.

We live in a world that is immersed in, and preoccupied with sex. We use it to sell perfume, cars, clothes and every other commodity.  The television and newspapers are full of it.  The magazine rack is covered with overt sexuality.  If your children don’t see the playboy channel at your house, because you happen to have higher ideals than to permit it in your house, then they will see it at the neighbor’s house.

For some reason, our society seems to have evolved with a belief that if we hide something away from our children, they won’t get into it.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  We persist with some silly notion that educating our children properly will hasten the onset of sexual awareness.  Believe me, nothing is sillier.  The onset of sexual awareness is taken care of by the natural flow of hormones rampaging unchecked through the teen age body.  And nothing is destined to cause you more trouble as a parent than to try to hide things from your children.

So now is the time to start talking.  It should be open, frank, and honest.  Babies don’t come from the stork and your children will get educated, if not by you, then by someone else who may or may not teach them the values you wan them to have.  So best to start talking now! Crazaberamer .

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Talking about sex with your kids

There are, to be sure, lots of books on the subject of sexuality, and lots of studies into the awakening awareness of the opposite sex. Let’s start with, “Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health, February 2012”, Facts on American Teens’ Sexual and Reproductive Health

The good news is teens are waiting longer to have sex and more are using birth control during their first sexual encounter.  In 1995 some 19% of teens reported having sex before age 15.  That number declined to 11% for females and 14% for males in 2006 – 2008.

Although only an average of 13% of teens have had sex by age 15, most initiate sex in their later teen years.  By their 19th birthday, 70% of teens, both male and female, have had sexual intercourse.

Another piece of good news is that 78% of females and 85% of males reported using contraceptives the first time they had sex.

So it all boils down to one simple undeniable fact.

People have sex and your child’s first sexual experience will probably be in the next few years.  It may have happened already.

So the next question is, “When should I talk to my child about sex”? The answer may shock some of you.  Now is the time to start the conversation.

There is considerable information and a fine resource starting with,  Sex Talk – Have the Sex Talk With Kids of Any Age.

We live in a world that is immersed in, and preoccupied with sex. We use it to sell perfume, cars, clothes and every other commodity.  The television and newspapers are full of it.  The magazine rack is covered with overt sexuality.  If your children don’t see the playboy channel at your house, because you happen to have higher ideals than to permit it in your house, then they will see it at the neighbor’s house.

For some reason, our society seems to have evolved with a belief that if we hide something away from our children, they won’t get into it.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  We persist with some silly notion that educating our children properly will hasten the onset of sexual awareness.  Believe me, nothing is sillier.  The onset of sexual awareness is taken care of by the natural flow of hormones rampaging unchecked through the teen age body.  And nothing is destined to cause you more trouble as a parent than to try to hide things from your children.

So now is the time to start talking.  It should be open, frank, and honest.  Babies don’t come from the stork and your children will get educated, if not by you, then by someone else who may or may not teach them the values you wan them to have.  So best to start talking now! Conssymroycupo . Crazaberamer .

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