Successful Single Parenting

Successful Single Parenting

Single parenting is one of the most common end results of a failed marriage. For many people, it might seem simple, perhaps even a relief to start a new life and raise their kids after an ended marriage.  After all, the marriage ended because it was stressful, probably negative, argumentative and perhaps even violent.

However, for some new single parents, it is difficult to achieve a balance.  There are many different factors that come into play, not the least of which is different personalities, upbringing and ways of managing stress brought by the failure of the marriage.

Frequently new single parents are frightened and stressed and have concerns about their own adequacy, feel lonely, abandoned, and overwhelmed. Financial issues may also wreck havoc on the newly single parent. We all want the same thing, what is best for our children.  But, and it is a big but, it is hard to focus on the needs of the kids if we as parents are scared, overwhelmed or depressed.

If you think that separation and the thought of being a single parent hinders your ability to move on, it’s now time to consider ways that can help you overcome your fears and will pave the way for successful single parenting.

Focusing on the basics

The desire to be a good parent is instinctive to all parents. However, this innate concern for their kids and raising them well may be affected by the events that have occurred in their lives. Their experiences may hinder them to focus on the needs of their children since they cannot help themselves to overcome their problems in life.

Although painful experiences such as separation greatly affect good parenting, there are always ways to overcome these problems and move on.

Let Go Of The Past

The first thing that you can do is let the past go. Experts say that the first step to be an effective single parent is to deal with depression caused by separation. By learning to let go of the past, you can accept that there are things that are beyond your control. Once you have accepted this, you will be able to forgive yourself and prepare yourself to be a successful single parent. You cannot change the past, you can only live in the now and prepare for the future. Easier said than done sometimes, this piece may require counseling.

Pace Yourself

Next best thing to do is to try to set your own pace. Although it is sometimes good for others to have fast recovery to be able to forget their problems, this is not always healthy says experts because it is only a “band-aid” solution. Some people who face the reality of becoming single parents try hard to move on by drowning themselves in work. This may work in the beginning but is not conducive to achieving long term goals.  It is also not good for the kids if their only remaining parent is so absorbed in work as to have not time to rebuild the family relationships.
Eventually, the person who tries so hard to face the challenges of single parenting may burn out and become completely ineffective.

To be an effective single parent, it is best if you set your own pace so you won’t get tired. This will also be beneficial for you because you can rest whenever you want to since nobody is breathing down your neck to do things you are not ready to do.

And remember, the time you spend with your kids is more productive than the time you spend cleaning the house. Successful  Single parenting may require you to modify some of your standards in order to fit in those things that truly matter.

Plan Ahead

Lastly, the best way to be successful in single parenting is to always think one step ahead and be positive. Since you will raise the child on your own, it would be best to plan ahead so you will be able to accomplish goals ahead of time. By doing this, you will have more opportunities to do things properly, feel less stress and have more time to spend with your child (or children).

As usual, my wish for you is that your children grow up healthy, happy and are positive contributors to society.

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