Congratulations! You just became a single parent! Now what! There are many surprises ahead. There is nothing we are as ill prepared to be than a single parent. Nothing in our background, upbringing or schooling prepared us for parenting let alone single parenting. It doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman. In the years ahead you will need to be both.
You will sometimes be nurturing and sometimes the disciplinarian. You will provide love and guidance. You will be all things at all times because there is no one else to rely on.
This is a book about single parenting. It is not written by a scholar of education, psychology or philosophy. It is written by someone who has been there: someone who learned about single parenting the hard way. Someone who learned the old fashioned way – by doing it. I learned a lot of things that don’t work by trying them. What I am doing here is writing the book I wish I had read before the kids moved in.
I am a man and even though I know it is still rare to find single fathers with all the responsibility, I was, and still am, a member of that rare breed: the single father. Recent statistics indicate we (single fathers) only account for 17.4% of the population of single parents. When I started this book, I thought it was going to be about single fathering. I originally intended it to be a book for men who were single parents.
As I thought about it and wrote about single fathering, I realized that most of my experiences were similar to the experiences of my lady friends who were also single parents. I came to understand that this was not just about single fathering but also about single mothering. That’s when I realized that there is very little distinction between single fathering and single mothering. In fact, the single parent is both the mommy and the daddy all rolled up into one.
This is a book I wish I could have read before the kids came to live with me full time. I hope you get as much out of it as I put into it. If you only find one nugget of wisdom in these pages to help you and your children grow together, I will have succeeded.
If the book helps immensely, I will have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams.