Hello my friends, this is Len Mooney, author of “Adventures in Single Parenting” and creator of the website, SingleParenting.us. Welcome to this video.
Once again I’m on the deck of my house in Mexico, actually to be exact for those of you who know, I’m one kilometer north of Puerto Nuevo. I can look over there, and I can see the restaurants from Puerto Nuevo. You can see the ocean behind me. There’s a fishing boat out there probably fishing for lobster for Puerto Nuevo. That’s what they do.
Today’s topic is dating, single parent dating. Wow, that’s a tough one. So you’ve been single for a while, maybe a long while. You’ve been raising your kids. You’ve got things pretty well stabilized. The house is running the way you want it to for the most part. The kids are behaving. They’re doing well in school. Y Tou’ve got your finances in order, and you’re sitting down going, “Ah, I sort of miss having the opposite sex around. What do I want to do about that?”
So you’re afraid. You’re actually afraid to go out there and start dating again. You don’t know what to expect, and you’re concerned about your kids. You don’t want to just get online and hook up with some . . . let’s just say some unpleasant person who is going to cause you trouble. How do you go about it? Well the first thing is in today’s day and age the Internet really can help you. It can be your friend, but you’ve got to be really careful. I would highly recommend that you do start with the Internet, but you only start with very, very reputable sites that do a very good job of screening who the people are that are members of the site.
eHarmony.com comes to mind. Match.com comes to mind, and there are several others I don’t mean to pick on those two, but there are lots of really good sites. And so you can get a pretty decent idea of what someone is like before you ever jump out there and meet them in person. The other thing to do is to be very honest about what you’re looking for. If you want somebody who sails, put that out there. Tell them you want somebody who sails. If you want somebody who is 50, put it out there. What do you want? So you have a better chance of finding somebody whose interests match yours if you’re very honest about what you’re looking for.
I did meet a really good lady on match.com one time. We hit it off, and we had a very pleasant time. So it was a very good experience. Now, the big problem that I find is the kids. After all, we’re single parents because we’re single and we have kids. And if we’re going to date other single parents, there’s a very good chance they’re going to have kids. And the problem that I find is it didn’t matter. My kids and her kids didn’t get along. There was always, at least, one kid in the group that didn’t get along with the other kid. “Mommy, Joey is a brat. Dad, Shelly’s out. She’s out.”
So some of the problems that we ran into, that I ran into dating, really circled around the kids and their feelings. So there are several things that I would say to you. One is if you’re going to date, talk to your kids about it first. Tell them that you want to date. Tell them why. Crazaberamer . And the first thing you’re going to get back is, “Mommy, why don’t you just date Daddy?” Once again, they’re always trying to get you back together with your spouse or “Dad, can’t you just go date mom?”
I got that a lot. So you’ve got to talk to your kids and explain to them, “Hey, no, I don’t want to date your mom. It’s just not going to work out. And I do want to date and I am going to be going out again, but I’m only going to pick nice people. I promise you that anybody that you meet you’re going to like.” And like I said before though, the big challenge that I found is the kids. T”he Brady Bunch works very well on television. It never worked very well for me in real life. So that was the biggest challenge I had was trying to figure out how to get all the kids to get along with each other.
Well, that’s all for today. If you find this video interesting, share it with a friend, click like and go visit my website. There’s more information out there and other blog posts about dating. This is Len, my wish for you is that your children grow up happy, healthy, and are positive contributors to society. We’ll talk again. Bye for now.